Farewell Dear Friend

How do you say goodbye to a such a faithful presence in your life that's been around for 18 years?

You simply can't.
Truth be told, i don't ever want to.

Mom called me a few hours ago and we started borak-ing for while. The next words she said broke my heart.

"Oh, we got a buyer for the van! They'll be picking it up next week".


My eyes instantly filled up . Tears rolled down my cheeks and my voice wavered as i tried to convince her not to sell the van. But her mind was set.

I don't expect people to understand. I know it sounds stupid to be crying over a "thing", an item, an object or whatnot--- but frankly speaking... i don't give a shit.

I love this van as much as i love my family. I love it more than any pet i've ever owned. I think i love it more than i love some my friends even.

Why?

My parents bought this van when i was a year old, in 1991 in America. It is a navy blue Previa, which is now called an Estima here in Malaysia. I grew up in USA with this van. Most of my most special memories were of when we lived there. My dad sending me to school, camping trips, going to the park, learning to ride the bicycle, driving to Disney World and so much more. When i gave up learning to ride the bicyle and i was crying bcause of the bruises i got from falling off, Abah would simply scoop me up, put me in the front seat and we would just drive around the neighbourhood. It always calmed me and made me feel better.

When you're a little kid and everything seems so big and intimidating to you, being in that van was like a shield for me. It made me feel secure, safe and warm.
It was my own special 'blanket'.

When we had to move to Malaysia, i lost so much. I had to say goodbye to so many things that i grew up with- my school, my teachers, my friends, and my home. It broke me up inside. I guess the only thing that made me tahan moving was bcoz we got to bring with us as many memories and special stuff that remindd us of our time in US to Malaysia. in doing so, we got to at least preserve the memories that each item carried for us. This included our precious van.

So we packed up and stuffed the huge container with tables, chairs, sofas, toys, books, beds and last but never least--the van. It joined us in Malaysia 2 weeks later by ship.
Since the year 1998 until now, we have created more memories to last us a lifetime with that van. It is my connecting link to my childhood in US and to my teen years now in Malaysia. It harbours memories that i cannot ever relive again, but i can only remember and reminisce about from time to time.

I can't turn back time no matter how much i wish to, but i can preserve and cherish it. This van made that possible.

Now, it's being taken away from me..
I have to learn to let it go, no matter how much it hurts.

When i look at it, i see the journey my life has taken and how far i've gone and grown up. It makes me remember that i've lived a wonderful life and shall continue doing so.

I'll miss you..

Here's to you, my dear friend.